Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Experiencing the KIT's as Esther
As I sit on a bleacher in the corner of the gym, secluded, I take note of all the students, families and staff cheering on the boy's team. I don't understand why people were going so crazy about the game. I was only there because Doreen had dragged me along. It was so pointless; a bunch of sweaty high school kids running up and down a wood floor trying to put a leather ball inside of what was a circle. What's the fun in that? These people are able to find the fun in just about anything and I don't understand it. I also see people wearing fancy clothes, ties and polos and dresses. What joy is found in showing off what you wear? Just about the only thing I see at the KIT's that I like is that not every girl is with some guy or something. I don't understand the unwritten rule that young women like us are supposed to just get married and have babies, like our own lives don't matter. Here the girls are chattering, laughing, and cheering, without a hint of stress on their faces. Right now, at this game, they're not worrying about what tomorrow holds and womanhood and motherhood, something that I worry about everyday. Seeing these young women and students at the game, I wish that I could be like them in that I'm not apprehensive about tomorrow and fitting into the role of a woman or any of that terrible stuff. Those negative thoughts eat me from the inside every damn day but that doesn't seem to be the case with the young females here. They're just happy and I wish I could be too.
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I really like the image you created of Esther and the people around her. You did a really good job of expressing her feeling of seclusion and isolation, particularly in a room crowded with other people. However, I think that when Esther expresses her ideas, particularly about people finding joy in materialistic items such as fancy clothes or mundane games, she is not as up front about her confusion; instead she seems to come across as angry, perplexed, and closed off, not even conscious enough of her own emotions to question why other people find these things so enjoyable. I think she would be more likely to believe there was something wrong with her for not enjoying these things than to think that other people were different or incorrect.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you included the detail about every girl not being with a guy at the KITs, because that is definitely something she would make note of. Also, how the girls are not really worried about finding a husband, a career, or some kind of stability in future life. Again, though, I'm not sure that Esther has the sense of self to realize that she is worried about womanhood and motherhood. Instead, she would express this worry through negativity towards other people, without realizing that the negative thoughts were detrimental to her own psyche.
Overall, good job getting into Esther's personal worries about her future and her chronic depression that other people around her would certainly not share or understand.
Hi Neil,
ReplyDeleteI agree with much of what Emma wrote. Esther's loneliness in a bustling crowd is spot on. You reveal Esther's feminist side, but you can be even more precise in her description of the girls around her. What kind of liberties do girls in 2015 have? Give even more details to show Esther's view of them. You reveal Esther's disgust for the materialism of those around her, but she was rarely cynical about others' materialism in the novel--that resonates much more with Chris McCandless.