There I was at the first lunch of the year and I couldn't help but think about all of the people in the room. I knew for sure they would all be gone and withered away some day. I observed all of the people in the room and looked at all the marvelous dresses and polos and khakis surrounding me and thats when I realized, I would never be as good as the other people in the room. They all looked and acted like intelligent human beings, but I was just a speck of dust on their shoes that they always looked down at with frustration and almost no empathy. I thought maybe I was crazy and that all of this was just normal. I felt as if no one even noticed me like the speck of dust I am, just sitting there watching everyone else throughout the day as they proceeded through their work and classes. I eventually reached the front of the line and got my food, but the lunch lady gave me an angry sneer so I quickly moved away as I was unsure how to react. I am often confused in situations like that. For example, this morning in math the big and towering teacher belted out my name and I didn't know what to say so I just said, "I'm sorry sir," at which point the entire class laughed at me and pushed me away. I brought my food to the nearest table and sat down eating as fast as I could in order to escape the overwhelming hatred peering at me from every direction. I began to agree with them with every bite of my quesadilla, I was worth hating and I wondered what would happen if I just hid for the day and avoided everyone.
I love how you referenced the dust in the blog, as I absolutely loved the part in the book when she had made the comment of people being dust. I think you embodied her personality and awkwardness in social situations well. Your sentence that shared how maybe she was crazy and this was just normal really made me think about how maybe crazy is normal. I'm not sure if that was your intention, but I really liked that idea. I feel as if maybe Ester would have tried to interact with a few people, even though she wouldn't want to because she does try to socialize a little bit. I thought it was really clever how you integrated her way of observing situations from the sidelines instead of being directly involved in them. I think when Ester says, "I'm sorry sir," its's a good way to show she doesn't really have much clue how to react to people; however, I think she would have been fine in this situation. She is usually good at talking to men, and she is also really tall so I do not think he would have intimidated her at all. Your idea of her hiding for the rest of the day made me think where she would hide, just in her mind or would she find a physical place to go, like the one in her basement? Ester knows she is different and there is something wrong, so I think you embodied her character well in this piece. Overall, really good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Zack,
ReplyDeleteNatalie points out some real strengths of your piece. You do a great job revealing Esther's crippling self-doubt and need to escape society. What about the KO community in particular (in 2015) would she find so terrifying or paralyzing? You really capture her depression.